January 2024

A New Year and a time to reflect, both negatively and positively, and no matter what, we are stronger than we know…

After a very quiet New Year's Eve I entered 2024 with a feeling of exhaustion but also with a sense of determination that I would continue through my treatment plan which was becoming harder every day. I think I was getting used to the routine of it all but getting so tired of the side effects that made everything so difficult. 2024 started with another round of chemotherapy which I had to go to a different hospital for because of the doctors strike. It was a late appointment too, 5.30pm which was delayed so it ended up being a very late appointment which knocked me out. I was so tired by the time I got through it and was very grateful that I was being driven and looked after so well.

I did have a lovely pick me up though. One of the wonderful chemo team told me that she loved my hair which was so kind of her and gave me a much needed boost as I was really struggling with the way I looked.

The next day I had my exercise session on Zoom which I really didn't feel like but made myself join in with it. I could have so easily cancelled it and stayed all day in bed but it was so important for me to get some exercise daily even if it was just a little bit. I know how much good it did me physically and mentally. Thank heavens for my doggies. The fact that I had them to walk everyday made the task a little easier to do. I felt that they needed me, even though I could have delegated. I am so thankful to my doggies. They were with me through my treatment giving me their unconditional love, snuggling up with me during the endless hours when I couldn't do much and, as I say, giving me a reason to get myself outside for their daily walks.

In the middle of the month I had another Echocardiogram and another visit to my dentist. These regular appointments are necessary during cancer treatment to keep an eye on things that the chemotherapy and its side effects can damage. I count myself very lucky that the chemotherapy didn't have any negative impact on my heart health as one of the drugs in my 'chemo cocktail' quite often did. I wasn't so lucky with my teeth though. I have always had good oral health but it suffered considerably, due mostly to the lack of saliva caused by the treatment I later learned.

Thankfully I was well cared for by my extended medical team.

I had another podcast to enjoy doing which was very much tuned into what was going on for me at present. It was about changing patterns of what we usually do into doing things in a different way. So true for me with all that was going on. I loved being able to freely discuss my emotions in this way and knowing that I was not alone in the way I was feeling. I often surprised myself at what I shared during these recordings as I knew they were public but I never censored myself and felt lucky that the friend I was talking to made me feel so comfortable, it was easy to talk openly.

The 3 week cycle of chemotherapy soon came round again and I was off to the hospital for my blood tests to check I was fit enough for the next round. All good so I ended the month much as I had begun it with a round of chemotherapy with all the joys that come with it.

As I reflect back on this start to the year, my overwhelming feeling is tiredness touching on boredom with my treatment plan but also a feeling of pride in battling through with it. I knew I wasn't going to give up but I was impressed by how my body and mentality seemed to manage it all so well… even if at times I had no idea how I could carry on. We are stronger than we know and sometimes life will give you the opportunity to see just how strong and capable we are. Small blessings maybe but silver linings to be appreciated.

Continuing with my self care, gratefully receiving all the help and support I was offered and trying to look for the positives have all served me well.

Again my coping strategies and stress reducing techniques have been put to good use and tested to the limits but I am so glad I was able to lean into them when I needed to. This is why I am so keen to share all that I have learnt.

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If you’d like to learn more about how I can help you, please visit my website and YouTube channel. There, I share more about my cancer journey and how my experiences have fuelled my passion for supporting others through similar challenges.

Please feel free to contact me directly if you have any questions or simply need a listening ear.

Here are details to my YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/@CalmerSelfCoach

Website: www.calmerself.co.uk

Text: 07856 169 186

Email: nadine@calmerself.co.uk