December 2023
A low key Christmas and New Year, and online was a lifeline at this time…
I continued my self care as we started Dec of 2023, having my feet looked after regularly, my Reflexology, my wonderful Reiki sessions and attending my Zoom exercise classes. I also continued my education with courses on Nutrition specific to cancer and Scar Tissue and Lymphoedema studies.
Right in the middle of Dec I had my regular Infusion and an appointment with my Medical team to discuss how I was doing after the Radiotherapy.
To be honest, I wasn't doing very well. My treatment plan was tough and I was feeling the effects of it physically but also mentally as overwhelming fatigue, together with the need to look after myself more due to lowered immunity, meant I was missing out on social events which hit me really hard in the run up to Christmas.
I was grateful for the fact that I could access so much online and I did get to enjoy two wonderful podcast conversations recorded for my YouTube channel. I was loving these conversations. They felt like a lifeline for me. I was lucky to be supported by two very special people. The discussions I was encouraged to have were representative of what I was feeling at the time. One was called 'It's O.K to cry from what I've been through,' and the other was about 'Asking for Help'. For these I needed to show my vulnerability, which was still a challenge for me, but did me so much good. The Counsellor I had been seeing had suddenly decided to stop practising so I was feeling a little abandoned, but these opportunities went some way to filling that void… and I know they helped others too.
I was starting to feel more at ease with sharing what I was going through and was getting more comfortable with my very short, very grey hair. It's all a process and it takes time to adjust but I know that 'putting it out there' helped me massively. Thank you to everyone who supported and encouraged me.
As Christmas time was getting nearer I did manage to meet up with a few special people and celebrate my Niece's Birthday but not really in the way I would have wished. Feeling so tired all the time and having a very strange sense of taste didn't allow me to enjoy these occasions as much as I wanted to. Christmas and New Year Celebrations were so low key they were hardly worth mentioning. I was feeling very sorry for myself as the end of 2023 neared, but I tried to keep positive, reminding myself how lucky I was and reflecting back to the same time the year before when this was all so new to me and I had no idea what I would be facing.
I could feel proud of how I was coping with it all and grateful that I had faced my biggest fears and was still here. I knew that this experience would make me a better and stronger person even if I wasn't really feeling it.
As I now say to others. There are so many lessons to be learned from a cancer experience and, when I'm feeling particularly joyful, 'Cancer's not all bad!'
As we talked about in our podcasts 'it is ok to cry from what you've been through'. I would almost say it's crucial. As I say, it's a process that needs to be worked through and crying is part of that process, feeling all the feelings of sadness and loss, and crying is a great form of release. It is also good to remember to 'ask for help'. I would actually say it's absolutely vital.
Again my coping strategies and stress reducing techniques have been put to good use and tested to the limits but I am so glad I was able to lean into them when I needed to. This is why I am so keen to share all that I have learnt.
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If you’d like to learn more about how I can help you, please visit my website and YouTube channel. There, I share more about my cancer journey and how my experiences have fuelled my passion for supporting others through similar challenges.
Please feel free to contact me directly if you have any questions or simply need a listening ear.
Here are details to my YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/@CalmerSelfCoach
Website: www.calmerself.co.uk
Text: 07856 169 186
Email: nadine@calmerself.co.uk